Friday, November 12, 2010

The beginning

There I stood in the Aldi around the corner from me, staring at the collection of cheap ass wine.  I had given up drinking months ago, but something about today had, well, drawn me back to the sweet cover of this intoxicating beverage.  Just imagine me, standing there in gray, worn capri's, a black short sleeved short, my Droid safely tucked in the chest pocket-- My hair thrown up into a sloppy pony tail, black-rimmed glasses and a long burgendy sweater-coat.  I was a site for sore eyes alright, but, had they any clue the LONG string of events that had brought me to this moment, contemplating my choices of much to cheap wine, they would have quite possibly averted their eyes or, in rare cases, offered me some form of comfort.

I am not here to seek your pity or obtain the advise of all the self-proclaimed psychologist of the internet, no.  I am here, simply to tell you my story.  My hope is that you will find entertainment, open your eyes to the a few of the horrors that life has to offer, and/or to console those that have also seen the darkest of dark places in life.  You are not alone and, alas, neither am I.

I picked up not one, but two bottles of cheap White Zinfandel-- Something produced by a company I have never even heard.  Why two bottles? Any night of drinking, should a long one-- That's all I could figure out.  I suppose I knew it would be a long night of thought.  Pondering on just what it was that had brought me here, to this place, from where I once was---

Isn't that what most of us spend out free moments wondering afterall?  How is it, that I ended here, at least for this moment.

Anyway, today is a little about me.

I am 27. I gradauted with a Master's degree in Psychology about a year ago.  I have been a phonesex operator for a little over 2 years now.  I am married, but not married, meaning legally I am married.  I have not seen my husband in well over a year and rarely talk to him since he left.  This is a whole post of its' own.  A beautiful, yet tragic blimp in a life that is. . . mine.